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Needless to say, I'm odds and ends - Alyson Tait

nightly routine:

stars come out / energy fades

brain winds down / thoughts land in a gutter

lights go out.

chiming fills my ears forever / because despite everything

she still has to answer the call.


she usually does


I watch her through a screen.

webcam shows every imperfection.

gone are the days of USB-port orbs you straddle

on your monitor;

no.

her laptop shows high definition.

it connects the two of us as if we were in the same room.

I soak up every luscious curve and soft-edged freckle.

even the conversation she's having--

reflected in her glasses.


her love is fleeting.

impersonal. ill tempered. far sighted and white hot like a burning star

just like her.

they're both spoiled.


in reality: I was the spoiled one.

fawned over / praised / eaten up by her honey colored eyes and red lips

then I spoiled

watching her.

I went rotten in and out

silently with shallow breaths and a green fire in my belly.


the sickly beast corroded.

it hollowed me out

made me crave more until I absorbed her.

I absorbed her and lost myself.


I ate up and tried to become my best friend, my lover, my queen.


but in the silence behind the hum of my computer, I wonder.

did she forget me?

did her consciousness slip so far

that she forgot there was someone watching her?

spending time with her?

I almost ask. then she turns to me and my voice box melts.


maybe I'll take the risk tomorrow.

but maybe the star and it’s white hot heat will finally explode

and I won’t have to ask at all.


Bio:

Alyson lives in Maryland where she got married, had her daughter, and began her writing journey. She has appeared in Altered Reality Magazine and (mac)ro(mic). You can find her on twitter @rudexvirus1

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