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  • Writer's pictureNeuro Logical

Pretty Disappointing -

Priti Patel is showing the nation

The secret path to self-isolation,

Breaking convention and climbing through fences,

Side-stepping colleagues with dire consequences.

Cajoling the public with ill-conceived flannel,

Exploring the scope for a discreet back-channel,

Belittling workers with lengthy careers,

Venting tirades whilst shielding your ears.

You’re hoping to get-by on soundbites and fudges

But losing respect from allies and judges.

A backbencher’s speech may be terse and emphatic

But the Home Office needs someone more diplomatic.

Lads camping in France now recoil from your boots

While hospitals here cry out for recruits.

Whole families huddle to get through the winter

But you'll not shed a tear if a lifeboat should splinter.

Refugees penned into barracks so poor

Where contracted heavies are guarding each door.

And - swept to the side through casual deflection -

Grim warnings foretold their likely infection.

The job does require some discretion and guile,

Accusations of bullying still lie on your file.

Disruptive behaviour erodes social glue

And yelling at staff - well that simply won’t do.

It’s a really tough challenge this driving-down crime

But earning respect is bound to take time;

You are right to pursue a review of parole

But self-isolation should not be your goal!


John Davison is a London-born writer of parodies, poems and lyrics, often on topical issues. He admires unusual puns and wordplay, frequents open mic's in outer London, collaborating with musicians whenever opportunities present themselves. He assists in editing many anthologies recently published by the Tuscan poet Fabrizio Frosini.

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