And you'll wear flowers in your hair - Kevin Bonfield

we couldn’t see inside the box

up on our shoulders

you were getting no older

I wished for a different culture

where our family

was open AND the box too to see you

One. Last. Time.

crushing my eyes closed

harder and harder until 

I could feel the pressure on my brain become strong enough

become strong enough to 

smother the torture

in my (still beating) heart.

for all but 2 of your 44 years.

My big sister. Pointing. Fighting. Guiding. Defining.

understanding.

I remember how I secretly told you

how you would leave us

as I read to you that last night

“You’ll float. Like a feather on a silent warm breeze.

In all of your favourite colours.

You’ll feel no pain. No pain anymore.

Too young of course. But free.

You’ll wear your Thailand silk.

Softly echoing your movement.

You’ll leave us. You’ll leave me.

And I’ll know. Even if our emotions are closed.

Like that casket in which they’ll hide you.

You’ll have that contented smile again

And you’ll wear flowers in your hair.”

Bio:

Kevin Bonfield is a writer of a disjointed past, a beautiful present and a confident future. As well as poetry and short fiction, he earns a few shillings copywriting. His love of running is oft chronicled at kevinrunsblog.com and his tweets can be found at @bonfield_kevin