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A Glint - Melody Greenfield

It's hard to imagine

that I ever went on

pro-suicide websites

as a tortured twenty-something,

researching ways to die.

With no job,

no love,

and insufficient dopamine,

the future felt bleak.

The message boards

became my vision board—

a source of fantasy and inspiration.

Yet, some still, small voice said:

No! Back away from the screen.

It was a case of both/and—

despair and also, a glint of hope.

Holding both in my hands

like a Magic 8-Ball,

I closed my eyes, and suddenly

I was 37 years old

with a husband

pitter-pattering behind me

and a heart that did the same.


Essayist, poet, and book reviewer Melody Greenfield has an MFA in creative nonfiction writing from Antioch University Los Angeles. She has been published—both under this name and another—in Brevity, Lunch Ticket, Annotation Nation, The Los Angeles Review, the Los Angeles Review of Books, the Pup Pup Blog, The Manifest-Station, Poke, The Erozine, Moment Mag, Sledgehammer Lit, Screenshot Lit, Pink Plastic House, Impostor, the Jewish Literary Journal, Potato Soup Journal, The Muleskinner Journal, Kelp Journal, Rejection Letters, Drizzle Review, Fusion Anthology, The Wave, GXRL, and Meow Meow Pow Pow, where her flash piece was nominated for a Best Small Fiction award. Her work is forthcoming in Drunk Monkeys and HOOT's Cookbook Anthology, and this is her second time appearing here on Neuro Logical. Melody and her Canadian husband live in LA, where she teaches Pilates, and he teaches elementary school. When she’s not working or writing, Melody can be found reading, singing, or on the socials:

melody.greenfield_writer on IG.

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